Picturesque

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Picture perfect would then be framed by verbs, married in thirds: subject, predicate and punctuation, exclaim it for elation, jubilation or just to be extra, kinda curve it and dot it if the marriage is in question.

Picture perfect to me is the method, not means. Steady climbing, mountain tops... picture the alps in the backdrop. Advancing rungs not collecting rings an’ tings. The scenes ever changing rising higher so it seems... Legs grow weary, lungs grow thin, both growth though, so... picture perfect is seems is constant motion or perpetually like the grates on escalator rising to the next floor. Whether on or off the picture maintains the same score. Picture produced by motivation, directed by concentration, starring patience, co-starring persistence and the cast list visits every emotion, perpetually and every eye that glances this perfect picture sees, senses and delights in its splendor. Although enigmatic, the dynamic, never static imagery entices and allures.

Onlookers captivated very subtly, individually finding a different theme and purpose to grasp, take past and remember it by. The perfect picture resonates. To the Lonely it speaks of compassion as a destination. Leaving behind the assumed genetic limitations, personality's inclination to fear public places, speaking, toilets and scenes. The perfect speaks on confidence to the same. Doubles Lonely's lub-dub to trust fun and self and let fair be well. Lonely stares inside the frame and sees an unnamed rain drip and precip' slowly and once the rain is recognized as "pain" the drips grow deciduously, perfectly, and as the onlooker watches their pain pour away the volume of freedom, the extolling exultation, the release speaks peace and harbors joys in the onlooker's eyes...and those same eyes bare rays like sunshine now. Sunshine that peaks as the perfect picture's rain ceases and as the pain ceases the eye's rays begets sun-showers more powerful than any tsunami because growth… is the onlookers destination, an escalating destination like the metal grates rising to the next floor. Finally out of the basement, the onlooker leaves the perfect picture wanting nothing of loneliness but all of life and more.

Four eyes peruse… then land. These two? Hand in hand, they too see perfection. Escalating grace. A union unbounded by pride and pretentious particulars. They see... what could be. If love lays, lures, leads, allows and leaves legacies, longevity and legitimacy stains all over their loins, limbs and likings. The four eyes see in the perfect picture similar to what they feel in their interlocking fingers. It is an indescribable feeling really...not to be expressed eloquently or too frequently... not to be manufactured but nurtured... the imagery is intense, its passion is immense within the frame. Imagine a silhouette framing the fortitude of their desire...painted free-hand with the softest strokes, dipped in the pallet over and over and over, to produce, no, to express their intimacy with the same effervescence or bolder as they grow older. An immovable fondness...an impenetrable bond… it's Holy, it's pure, it's Adam and Eve before the adder, apple and greed. It is picture perfect love and it gloves their clench...it binds their eyes within the frame… it's her last name becoming his last name. It’s a forever kinda picture, not a portrait...more of an image.

The next pair of folks to stare within the frames: their eyes turn from glaze to daze, almost looking through the images limits. Memories of a scene quite like Perfection's theme. The image takes on a day. The day is almost exactly the same as a day that seems to relate to the viewers in a cold, captivating type of way. The day? Friday, the day after Christmas. Not a gift to receive but a gift to release. The stronger of the onlookers was going Home. Although he was welcomed Home, all the world was devastated to see the stronger of the onlookers go. But inside this frame they see comfort. Not many images of the Strongest of the three bring the remaining two to a smile. But this perfect picture fills cheeks in style. That daze that was once a glaze now amazes the two ... "Yo... I loved that crazy dude" "Word! … Me too." Not too long ago any thought brought salty, saturation. Now their eyes gleam and glisten in admiration. The image reflects the Strongest of the three and his admiration of the two. Picture a toddler and another little bother: two bothers held in the arms of big brother and he forgave the little bothers for bugging and bothering. Playing, tussling, fighting and recovering. Father and Mother in the background of the painting… finger waving and forehead shaking. No sorrow, no salt, no saturation just joy. The perfect picture painted the perfect setting for reminiscing. It took time too... for the paint to dry. It took time... much time for the strokes to heal. Picture perfect framed comfort and no mirage ever felt so real.

Their joy grows a crowd. The perfect picture is watched by the masses now. The enamored was once a pair, now the room is filled with hopefuls from everywhere. Chorus of murmuring, at first sharing theories and queries. The picture escalates... Some feel warmer. The crowd grows into a community of onlookers. The mural motivates... points some to paint... to pick up the brush and in turn escalate. It fosters a forever love...reminds the interlocking fingers of what they’re holding and keeping away from.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...some beyond the margin...running away from the frame. Some a bit more tame, allowing the laws of language to embrace. The painter-picture relationship becomes symbiotic. As the painter paints...as the author creates, the page and frame grows to perfection. Coincidentally, within this connection, the creator benefits from the release: stroking emotions within and beyond the seams, developing dreams and capturing peace. The picture grows to perfection. The creator cultivates in succession. The audience… hopefully you followed with progression.

don't miss you at all.

I miss her kiss but not her lips

I don't miss her face but damn I wish I could make her smile.
Watch her eyes drop down with the intimidation that infatuation brings.

I don't miss her body but I miss the way she feels. My hands on her thigh when she's in the passenger side...slight protection...maybe just attention, just really can't go long without some affection.
Her height stands in mine, whenever I stand behind. Her body asks for comfort and this man obliges every time.

I don't miss talking to her but I miss her voice. The pause before she asks what I'm doing...hoping I'd say "nothing" or "coming to see you."
The way it gets low when she's thinking hard and doesn't want to yell over her thoughts.
The way she laughs...and it gets uncontrollably harder and goofy because she tries to keep it in.
I don't miss sleeping with her but I miss her falling asleep in my arms.

I don't miss seeing her but I miss staring into her eyes.

I don't miss "love yous" and I don't miss her "need yous."

I don't miss the way I feel when I'm with you...but I do miss flying.

real simple

Claimed I liked u now blame is spiteful/ too many times I tried to/ keep it light n simple/ but the farther I try n keep u tha harder u try n lean to/ startin to belive too that I'm more of the issue/ its either that or my sex is givin u amnesia/ prone to pleasure, but that's her or the next her/ its in my nature /Cold aint just a nomenclature/ Not to be trusted/ girls are quite like buses/ soon as I get on/ I'm waitin for my stop to come/ can't enjoy the ride Love/ cause u failed emissions and got us both choked up/ remindin myself to beathe easy/ ur texts be makin me queazy/ can't give up on love/ but I caught this bug/ and threw up all of it/ no longer makin me sick/ the butterflies don't exist/ grew wings fluttered n dipped/ upchucked the feeling lookin forward to stress free/ I already miss u but I much rather breathe

she love me/ she love me not/ she drivin me crazy: how can I make it stop/ I need u I want u just don't wanna keep u/dont that make sense girl, aint that real simple?

Keep u on my mind cause I pretend to be human/ memories come frequent bout ur smile so soothing/ I reminisce u, old u not this you/ the whole moment is gone once my mind say it miss u/ I love thinkin bout u wit the mute button on/ daydreamin wit no words silence my favorite song/ just motions, us coastin/ steady paralleled emotions/ reminiscin u, kissin u, in these daydreams ur real quiet/ I like it. Love language spoken without a word/ translated, interpreted into mmmm's not verbs/ lovin u in silence don't wanna hear a peep/ drivin long distance jus me in the jeep/ month one month two month three/ remember we two loose leafs lying between the sheets/ unadultered, untamed, unbridaled insane/ incredible, delectable, I do, u do, was it good for u?/ passion was never what caused the clashin/ if we never had to speak/ our song wud still be on repeat/ but silence was broken too often/ pride spoken n now the sheets is open and clean n bare/ and the two Aces is no longer a pair/ n my long fingers no longer thru ur hair/ n I fall asleep no longer to ur stare/ and all of the peace somehow morphed to grief/ and I can't even look at ur name in my fone/ ur just an area code, 7 digits no ringtone

she love me/ she love me not/ she drivin me crazy: how can I make it stop/ I need u I want u just don't wanna keep u/dont that make sense girl, aint that real simple?

So ur there and I'm here and my sanity want no parts of a we/ our love's too damn complex/ so I control Alt Delete n reset/ not saving this page nope/ shut down that window Closed/ I'll wait n wait till my screen goes blank/ till I reminic u not, till I no longer crave another shot/ till the daydreams r all gone and we can shake hands wit our clothes on/ heh.. Which way do I go from here?/ Keep it Cold or pretend to care?/ I'd like to avoid bouncing another check/ the fees r too high/ I'm startin to look more n more n more like the bad guy/ but Shorty's like u way too damn expensive/ I paid attention/ tried to buy us time/ purchased extra protection/ for those direct deposits of mine/ but I maxed out, sold out, paid up gave in/ another joint account wouldn't be the wisest decision/ this whole tune is so taboo tho just like a tatoo yo/ soon as i forget how painful it was/ I'm ready for another, pass the needle my love/

she love me/ she love me not/ she drivin me crazy: how can I make it stop/ I need u I want u just don't wanna keep u/dont that make sense girl, aint that real simple?

so emotional

How the f*#k u cud u leave wothout saying goodbye without callin me Geez one more time?
How u gon leave before I get to have my two boys and watch them play power rangers together n make too much noise? U left way too soon, dog I was gonna call u back. I just got in around 1am and didn't wanna wake the fam... But damn. I was gonna hit u up the next day but the next day you was gone. She called me n told u me you just stayed asleep- found u cold and solid not a breath or peep. You aint even finish cuttin juju beans hair- u just left- midsentence like a comma and we all posed to just move on? I never wanted u to hear me mad at you I swear. U thought our family was distant cause of ur previous missions. U kno I'd never judge u got too much love for you. Now the youngest wear the line like its his cover "no closer than a brother" Why Rhakeem? Now I'm just supposed to see u in my dreams? U kno I don't sleep enough. I never was the emotional one that was you n Jay- but since u went away I can't call it. I swear I'm still strong but my walls be fallin. If I woulda called you right away- soon as I read the note u mailed me that day with the picture of your boys, big ol heads like yours- if I called you right away- would I have snatched u out ur sleep before death came n reaped? I don't know if I'm mad at you or the Doctor or this life this just don't seem right.... And right now I'm so emotional somewhere between sad and anti-social I scribble and I type tryna write like u used to write. I don't wanna always sound morbid but its how I keep the tears from crawlin. Sorrows are like tomorrows right? Inevitable and temporary? Then this has been one long azz today- the pain subsides but never goes away. Everytime I talk 2 ur wife- ur boys my nephews I feel for their lives. I mean u were myyy big Brother- but u raised them and was in love wit her and the pain I feel simultaneously enrages me- feel like how can I miss you when I'm fully grown? The boys have no more home to call home. Your wife gotta do it all alone. You and I were phone calls and holidays...blood never thinned but we coped long distance. I don't deserve to be so emotional but....what the f*ck else am I supposed to do?


Am I supposed to wear your name on my chest? Yes and I do and every mirror, wife beater and v-neck exposes you. Remember when I told you my boy Joe-nathan made fun of me? For how I used to tell all your stories? "My big brother does this, that and the other" All my fellas through high school knew you well, never saw you for a second but who could tell? All the biggest moments of my life were not felt when they were dated- but after hearing you describe them all animated. You turned my moments to historic, my proportions grew enormous just hearing the source of this shadow exclaim them.
You lived your life and did everything to protect me from repeating and all I ever wanted was your nod of approval in due season. So when we grew and it became me coaching you nothing was more gratifying then getting off the phone and being able to return to you some of the strength that you grew me on. So emotionally content, wound up yet able to vent because you spent the right amount of time loving yourself...loving yourself enough to thank the folks that helped you up. If I can do with the rest of my life what you did with the last 5 months of your time- pleased they'd all be with my legacy. I'm a giant because of you and I don't know how to play short. I still run for the end zone like I can never be caught. They call me a "true Libra" say I have no feelings either but I have yet to meet an emotion that stays and overcomes beyond a day like the way you blanket the sane of my face. . But I found a way to this so emotional state from bound, down and all to twenty f*#in feet tall. All you gave and all you had on reserve for me...I will store up and exert exponentially. Never weak not for a second, minute or hour- so long as my chest rests you I will borrow your powers.

I Want You Back

My vibes right when I'm inside.... Your life lights my might then widens the night.
All my life's like the moonlight- quarter, half then the full type...but only when I rise with you.
I can't sleep and you never do so its only logical that our ones push the sun back farther and take two like terrible toddlers.
Nobody knows me well as you do. Might as well own the rights to, liens, scenes and acts too, the whole script....written by you.
But being away from you stifles my desire.  Slowly dissipating like a punctured tire. Memory's no longer clenched...I am losing grip, hands slip and what I miss is growing foreign and farther.  Try to pick up the scent but my nose knows none like it use to.  Nasal memory's drip not run like they use to. I miss you.
Wish you can hear this pencil....I miss you. No ups all, down... all those pretty memories...I know you can hear me now...but for the record I love you.
I had you...all of you.  As many chambers as I hold, you held a home. Burrowed deep, 4 chambers and if I had five you'd dwell live, right inside, full like a 5 borough'd vein traversing the plains, lows, highs and my aim was to live off your pulse forever. Then I had to leave you and forever was a broken promise I could never reverse, retract or reword. Rewind the verse when I claimed always my heart will be your home... I replay it daily in hope that today would turn into that yesterday and all this time that I've been away would dissipate and I'd be with you, you feeding my pulse and the promise still a forever and forever still fresh, honest and us, yes a fresh us, not this stale you and me that's grown to be.
Its only right when we ride. Only place I feel right is inside. I've been just to the left of right for too many nights. Trying to rise quarter full...nothing worth howling to. Just a nail clip hanging in the dark mass of what could be.
Take me back and I'll make it last.
I ran away in haste, knew this state of mind wouldn't hold in time and I'd be back. But time never paused, hesitated or wasted a tick, just picked up the pace and my state of mind in time was aloof. Breaking out in sweats temperature rising unless.. I'd come to you. Brief visits kept my cool. Watch my cool lose and hot rise a degree at a time. Occupational therapy, still much maligned. I needed you close but in my rear view? no you. So I...I realize that this comfortable state has me wasting away. My four chambers empty cause you no longer reside. I come and visit and try and stay, just hide but you impede my every lead, crimp every creep. Want you close indeed. Try and get back inside for another ride but closed thighways prevent me. Nothing reciprocated 'cause you call my bluff each time. Know soon as I get a taste, satiate, follow the exit sign.

But the last time is coming soon. Won't be long 'till I rise with you each night a full moon. My heart's empty cause I'm here away from you.
Home is where the heart is...New York, New York...I will see you soon.
Need you.

Patty and Percy: Parts 1 & 2

The following joint is a 6 or 7 year-old AIM away message.  Remember those days?  My good friend Charlene "Chi-Chi" Smith (from the BX as well... THROW YA X'S UP!!), was one of the readers who could relate to the away message's message.  Chi-Chi's mom recently passed and Miss Chi-Chi asked if she could read "Patty and Percy" at her funeral.  An extreme honor even despite the circumstances.

So thank you Chi-Chi and her mom for raising such a dope daughter.  May God's choicest blessings, comfort and peace be with you and your family.

Rest up Miss Diane Smith...

Like to Hear it?...here it go....

patty n percy pt 1

So this story begins with 2 characters: Patty and Persy who r fraternal twins separated at birth, and here 24 years later...So Patty is the more serene, laid back easy-going twin, and Persy is the hyper-active, boisterous, aggressive one... separated u see them only for how different they are.  and now, 24 years after their intro 2 the world, they r reunited on the 2 train.  Patty's already on the train when Persy hops on at Simpson street and sits across from his twin, to be discovered.  A lil ol' chinese lady walks across the train, passes the other 18 strap-hangers by n stops rite in front of Persy... "baddery, baddery, One Dollar!"  Persy waves his hand annoyed at the ol' lady's actions..." I don't need no damn Baddery Baddery" and shows the ol' lady the back of his ipod that takes no double-a's, and returns to his pencil and composition notebook.... Patty sees this performance, smiles at Persy and shakes her head.  Their eyes catch each other n Persy says to Patty "see what we gotta go thru everyday.... I need my own private G4 to fly over all the beggars, traffic n nonsense"  Patty nods her head in agreement.  "My name's Persy" "I'm Patty, nice to meet u"  So the 2 end up sittin next to each other and engage in heavy-known you all my life- kinda convo throughout the entire ride... and the "so where r u from" moment arises.... I was born rite here in the Bronx, says Persy.  "Oh word, me too.  Union Hospital" - "Stop playin, I was born in Union too, whats ur birthday?" "July 7th, I was born at 11:57 pm, you?" "July 8th, 12:04am"

...2 be completed....

persy n patty pt2

We last left our 2 characters on the 2 train... discussing where they were born, and they discover they have waaaay more in common then they thought....

...The 2 pause n stare at each other for about 8 seconds and then they both reach into their pockets and pull a picture out of their wallet.  When Persy turned 13, his Pops gave him a picture of Persy n his twin sister- Patty's mom did the same.....  The two embraced and haven't let go since...So Patty and Persy, Persy and Patty- u can never find one without the other.  Finally combined, their differences do nothing but compliment each other.
So now I, narrator of this here story, found the twins and decided to adopt them as my own... I refer to the twins Patty n Persy now by their given names, Patience and Persistence. 
Persistence still the aggressor, but only set free to go wild after Patience determines the time is right.  Persistence gives his twin direction and opportunity when Patience catches a glimpse of Excellence in sight.

Patience and Persistence... how I shall.

Club 575

Her scent fills my urge

Senseless I'm stuck not a word

Desire.  No nerve.

Stand outside myself

self-pep-talk my speech and feet

Both ignoring me.

Maybe I don't need?

Perhaps she's poison for me?

Stop while I'm in lead.

Looks can deceive foul

Can't trust a big butt and smile

should take heed right now

I'm gonna go in

She needs some Reg.E within

Can't deprive her then

Tap her left shoulder

"What time are you gonna leave?"

She said "What you mean?"

So then I explained

You been driving me insane

That ain't nice at all.

Poking all around

Clench my cool and dragged it down

What else you gon' do now?!

You kidnapped my nose

And my eyes? You secured those

Ain't much left at all.

Gorgeous as you is,

I'm almost out of senses.

That won't work for we.

So I ask, no, plead

What time are you gonna leave?

All respectfully

Don't know how to act

Get out my head... front and back

Take your scent and curves!

I want to be me

Me with five senses and feet

that knows how to speak!

So please Lady squirm

out of the vicinity.

Rude, on purpose too!

"Damn... is it that deep?

Just sitting here quietly

ain't done much at all."

"What happened to 'Hi'

Hello and what is your name?"

I reverb the same."

"Just too hard for you?

Glued the bottom of your shoes?

Un-be-liev-a-ble."

"I sat back right here

watched you try hard not to stare.

In-fa-tu-a-tion."

"Stuck like you're a drunk

Not a peep little boy punk.

In-tox-i-ca-tion."

"You're lucky I'm bored

let me show you  how it's done

Listen, take notes.  Son"

Let me stop you there

before you think I do care

I just want a smile

Not a whole lesson

or a tongue thrashing session

Just a little time

Who'm I lying to?

All this time was stuck on you

Now I am the fool.

I'll be on my way

Maybe try another day

Heading back to school

So I left her there

and this is lone me right here

Wish I could rewind

Be way more easy

If I could read her haikuus

and my words were rhyme.

Contradiction

Said she was tired of meeting the same type of guys cause it always ends up the same. "Why can't what I'm attracted to be good for me at the same time too? Tired of these cavities and my damn sweet tooth.  Who are you?"

Umm, damn...my name is Reg.E. Spelled with a dot. I cannot begin to explain to you all of the many things I am not.

She says "oh really, you sure? I swear I heard that one before. I think you're a finer thread but cut from the same cloth. I don't mean to be rude but if so, get lost. I don't have the time, taste or space for anymore."

Once again..my name is Reg.E and it is spelled with a dot. I considered explaining to you all of the many things that I am not... but you seem like that type to get a kick out of being right. So I will let you think you are and save all of this for another lady on another night.

Stunned by this she quips- "oh Darling you giving up so soon? Scared another little boy away I did that's the third tonight must be a full moon."

She made me laugh a little more so I came back  just to even the score and the conversation was eventually decent. She made me promise to be the opposite of everything she's ever encountered and said she'd leave if I were anything different.

So I was me. All the Reg.E I know to be. Of course it was easy, flow flawless like osmosis building energy like kinetic forces.... potential likewise evolving in due time.

I called her up and picked her up...she said I'm two for two. I lost a few points though when I came late but I forewarned her that I'm allergic to time so she knew.

I had no plan but gave no hint of this and she eventually asked where are we going?  Looked at the clock it was 9:15 and then it started snowing.

Took her to and fro, around the town out and about. When we took the sidewalk I kept her on the inside and she started to pout.

Said- "I don't even know what that means but I know it's one of those Gentlemanly Chivalry things I've only heard about or seen in movie scenes."

Dropper her off, walked her to the door, gave her a hug and asked for no more. I felt her watch me walk away, though the window shades she wanted to say, "don't you want to come in with me?" But that would be sorta contradictory.

She would only be asking because that is what she was used to happening...yes, I wanted to stay but we will save that play for another day.

Next time we go out she ends it kinda slick...told me she had something with her cable box I needed to fix. So I went inside played with her hdmis. Wasn't much wrong, sabotage all along.

Then she goes..."Oh I'm so sore...all that walking, my feet, calves,  backs, necks and all. All of it needs rubbing, won't you please oblige.". So I kindly massaged the shit out of her thighs.
The quad on the top, hamstring on the side, she would tense up a bit the closer I would rise.

She wasn't pushing me away, no murmur, motion or peep. I knew it was a setup but I promised to be Reg dot E.

Went as close I could without grazing the funbox, she threw her head back and slightly moaned and right then I stopped.

"Oh man I had a dope night, we have GOT to do this again. You're way too much fun and my hands love the way you fit in."

She sucked her teeth and let me out.

Night and day came once more and an email waited for me at work. Long story short...giving her what she asked for is starting to drive her berserk. She almost, sorta, kinda wished I were a jerk. Told her that a promise is a promise and breaking one would be my first.

That night her cable was broke again.

I went for the hdmis and she was playing with my ear. I went to the back of the flat screen twice but she followed me there.

"Aren't you hot?  Take off your shirt and relax." Okay but I'm going to sit over here where its safe. She said "cool", but cool didn't last.

Hot and Bothered jumped on my lap and pressed every pixel on my lips.  We knew where this was going, she's uhh very comfortable and it is showing.

Should I cease to contradict what she expects for me to give?  It appears the time is right, she's ripe and would have no remorse if we did.

She skipped the remaining pleasantries and asked "could you make love to me?"
I thought to myself, how far she had come from that night we met and a few moments since then. I've gotten ahead with self-confidence, a little stubbornness and self control.  That last part she tested and almost made a mess of me and this whole juxtapose.

But apparently and obviously this isn't time to reminisce. Her request was sincere and she's still right here going from lip to lip.

She came off my lips, up my face she kissed stopped at my ears and again "I want you to make love to me". And you know I took this literally. Staying true to my promise and knowing what she wants..."make love to me"....so I fucked.

Start it Up

(I realize this joint is kind of a weird read... so even though it's late, here is the disclaimer:  I don't remember my dreams at night but parts seep into my conscious and are reenacted through daydreams)

I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.

I woke up this morning 3 minutes before the alarm... Can't have those three minutes back if I chose. Could smack the snooze bar and burrow back in these pillows I suppose. 10 minutes later...up at the tune... Now that's more like it, no need to deprive the alarm clock of its due.  Rolled into the shower, standing directly under the water. Let it marinate, shampoo and soap can wait. Hear a noise from the room and its gone just as soon. Then its back..it's my phone, can I make it? Can I make it to? Flip flops.. bathroom door..stub my toe.. fell to the floor.  Back up... grab the phone "one missed call" and they're gone. Back to the shower, about half an hour later feeling like I could play one on one with the snooze bar again. Check my phone, the missed caller left me like 6 or 7 bbms:
 "I had a dream and you were in it (embarrassed emoticon), we were catching a train and it was heading to Sweden (huh emoticon).  We ordered chicken and biscuits..." On the train???
"...and you stole my strawberry jelly (angry emoticon). I stole a piece of your chicken and I whispered 'in mah belllllayy' (devilish emoticon).  Right after that, the train jumped a track and we were leaning over the side of a bridge. People were falling, kids were screaming and you...you  were finishing your chicken. You licked the fingers of your left hand, grabbed my arm with your right and said 'ever danced with the devil under a pale moonlight? (Eyes rolling emoticon) ' More screaming, more falling, God, Mama, Allah calling and such, then right before the train hit ground...I woke up (Big hug emoticon).  Reg.E what do you think that means????"
Straight faced emoticon. Put my phone in my pocket and got dressed to leave.
Threw a pen in my pocket because I have to deposit... a check into the atm... and their pens are usually filled with that invisible ink. My nephew left his swiss army knife by the sink ...so I'll drop that off after I go to the store. Should I take the train or drive?  Couldn't tell by her dream if we finished alive... sooooo...Hopped in Tonka said a prayer and started her up.  As she got warm I found a playlist to put on...appropriate enough Genius list of likes to Vroom Vrroooomm "Start it Up."  Should I go to the bank by the store or the one closer to my nephew?  I'll probably OD in the store and the bank closes at noon... so GPS find me a way to a Chase on Lexington .  Beating the wheel like its my drum to Banks verse on Start it Up. "I’m passing all them, pullover and hit the hazards on em
the ratchets on ‘em, wanna pay my dues, now it’s back to ballin sumthin sutmthin Dikembe, Patrick, Mourning." He coulda did a little more with that Hoyas reference, still a dope verse...hence Genius preference.  Turn the music down start freestyling cause I'm alone: "I'm heading to the bank, quarter tank, God thanks.  listening to Banks corner of my eyes see a skank, guy in front of me curly fro like Carlton Banks...deposit this check I can't wait, spend the money on a date or a sweater even better..."ohhhhh snap son! I should be recording this, I'm my own Genius list.  Now let's find a parking spot, oh there's one...Carlton Banks just snatched it up.  Around the corner and twice more...a Lady pulls out and I'm in..out the door. 4 minutes on the meter and I don't need a second more. Inside the bank and at the atm insert my card and punch in my pin: "This atm cannot dispense cash at the moment." Suck my teeth and snatch my card out ferocious!  I'll deposit the check at the teller and tell her give me cash....be out in a flash. Yea right....geeeeeeeeoooooooooooood look at the line. Everybody and their moms is here at the same time. Deep breath... monopoly on the Touch: "Would you like to buy Reading Railroad?" Hell yea, stank you smelly much.  Long line always make me have to potty... asked the dude in front to hold my place, asked the old as dust guard where the bathroom was and went where he pointed cause I didn't understand a word he sprayed.  Asked for the news.... Is the bathroom door number one or is it number two?  Through door number one and down a long hallway, bunch of closed offices, I think this was the wrong way. Turn around to head back and I hear 5 quick shots "paat-paat-paat-paat-paat" I dropped to the floor, oh boyyyyyy what's goin on??" Crawl to the door and lock it and sat up against the wall. Heard a few steps, and then another "paat-paat" and a body drop to the floor- head and shoulders fell against the door. People screaming, glass breaking and I look around for a window. Must be in the middle of this building where they don't pee or get ventilation, and out there sounds like Rambo.  Someone's by the door: "I think he's dead...no pulse"  another voice loudly from across the floor "of course he's dead, look how old he is and your scared-ass shot him extra close."
"He's was going to his waist, I did what I had to."
"Probably for his inhaler...you didn't have to shoot.  Aye teller, what's behind this door?"
"Nothing that area on the weekend is closed."
He jars at the knob and I'm watching it move. If this dude comes in here I'm Chuck Norrissing him in his neck and I'm gonna piss on him too.  Nothing. He goes away. They are really robbing this place...indeed.  This is straight out of a movie...you have GOT to be kidding me.  "No silent alarms...give me your cells, jewelry and charms. You take us to the safe and hurry up time is money and we have neither to waste" Take out my Touch..monopoly again...down to my last 30 bucks: "You've been elected Chairman of the Board, pay every player fifty...pay up!" Damn you Chance!! Damn you. Put the touch in pants and scraped my hand. Ouch damn what was that? My nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Hmmm- my nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Rushed red with courage, somebody colored me Badd!  I could sneak out there while they're in the back... Gotta take them a few to unload the vault. I could play possum, then sneak up behind 'em and slice their throat. Its not a movie Reg...and you were only a white belt no matter what the Sensei said. I gotta do something, there's only two of them maybe three...but more importantly I really have to pee. Unlock the door and creek it open a bit... the body's leaned and slides so I quietly drag it in. Its the security guard...poor old man. He was reaching for his inhaler...ha ha haaa that's wrong. Hold up...what's this on his hip...a six-shooter?? He was packing all along. Take his gun out the holster and I hear the voices from outside. "You take the money to the van, you start it up and I'll wait behind. Soon as the van is started I'll set the timer and we out."
Timer??? Nah son, nah.  Take a peak in the cylinder and there's only three bullets in. You was buckin' old man?? You was gettin' it in? That's wassup.

I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.

Said a quick prayer..."God give me the strength, bless my aim and forgive these men...forgive me also for what I'm 'bout to do them." Felt a rush to my hands of heat through to my fingertips... Took a deep breath and held it in... Everything was silent- heart beat in slow motion....Bust out the door and stayed low to the floor...they looked towards, gun raised: "what was that??!!  Over there on the floor" "paat-paat-paat"

I exhaled... Let that deep breath go. Rolled over on my back...hand on my chest real slow..... That's wassup. So I sat up.  Arms over my knees... looked around at the patrons and the employees and the three newly cold bodies...  Everybody's eyes on me like "who in the Sam Hill is this???"
I sigh..."do any of you know where the bathroom is?"

...

I am...Chasin life's thrills, avoidin ills, poise from spills. Proposin wills and nils to Mills, like Dr Mario connectin pills. Overdue bills and unforseen kills cause eyes to fill. Maturin while still like cucumber to dill. Under the Blood can't shriek or shrilll. Shortcomings eventually shape skill, even fully submerged I breathe thru gills. Never flooded or too high a hill, climb steadily or run like Jack and Jill. If at the wall- for lil Jalen, lil Pete, Rhanise I will drill until... Legacies born and unborn to fulfill. Pierce thru qualms like quills, peace, pacified like benadryl, relief, rectifying like vagisil. Break bread with the Real, keep friends close and enemies on the same side of the rill, still learning how to shed Amils. Bearing visions like window sills, God grant it if it's in Your will. Pencils soak up the brain spills... I.L.L. begets Ill.

t.m.i.

I wear my short hair nappy and my bowtie loose. My hat never sits quite right like it's supposed to.  

When I was younger I would take dumb long showers.  Leave the conditioner in my hair for like half an hour. Wash my beans and thing thing and everything in between and as soon as I was so fresh and so clean clean, I'd brush my hair with the conditioner still in, then rinse it out and my waves would spin, kinda like I had Indian kin. Then I'd hop out and stand  in the mirror kinda bored, would brush my eyebrows lightly from corner to corner.

Sometimes like Pierre I don't care or don't fear like I'm supposed to. I spent less time choosing a college then I do choosing a lunch menu.  

I use the woman's bathroom at work when I'm the last in the office because it smells like twinkies and ours smells like inner coffin.

I wear long johns on my legs whenever it's too brick but I have to change the combination of how my wifebeater gets tucked in. It usually goes straight into my jeans this is to prevent that gay belly button breeze. But when long johns are present, the wifebeater has to go second. This actually is smart in two ways: if I have to tinkle and my tango doesn't slow it down, fighting through the extra layers could make me and my pants look and smell like a clown.  So with wifebeater in second, protected are my legs and weapon, I can lift my shirts in one swoop and pull out the weapon with hand number two.

When I was younger, I wore hard shoes like Forrest Gump but Mama removed them prematurely cause I would Run, Forest, Run...that's not why, that's a lie. She took my corrective shoes off when I was two and threw them away someplace because I'd kick my older brother's company in the shin and smile in their face. He told me they would laugh to hold back tears trying not to let it be known that they're manhood was on thin ice cause of a terrible, toddler, two-year old. Now still to this day I walk slightly like Donald or Daffy. But more than a handful of females confessed to me it was kinda sexy.  One further explained that it was partially revealing, well at least to her imagination, what I was concealing.  And no, I did not give her some in case you were wondering or judging me son. 

I drink a lot of milk, not in a glass but cereal setting.  I eat so much damn Frosted Flakes, I got Kellogg's through the recession.  It's pretty bad, a few years back... my family, the fellas and closest chick at the time got together and threw me a 25th Tony the Tiger themed birthday party surprise.  Blue and orange balloons, streamers and decorations... like 25 boxes of cereal in different sizes and I ate 'em. I ate 'em all.

I sex like bass....and there is a direct proportion between the level of attraction to the level of bass.

I have quite an obsession with Q-tips. Not any cotton swabs or puffy sticks... No... 100 percent cotton, Unilever Q-tips. It was brought to my attention that when I stick them in my ear, my eyes roll back like "mmmmm yeaaaaaaah."

I have a knot on the back of my head, probably from those terrible-twos and if you or I rub it hard enough I fall asleep and rather quickly too.

Don't touch my nipples. Just don't. 

When I have a goal, plan or focus and what to keep it up front, I write it on a rubber band and wear it untill it's done. The goal that is.  And if the band breaks prior to I grab my pen and another and start the cycle anew.

When I was around 9 I swallowed a pinball one time...about half an inch in diameter, silver, metal and smooth. I ran to my Pop's room and gave him the universal choking I'm about to die clue...Couldn't talk or yell so I was pointing in my mouth.  He said (just like a grouch) "Booooy..what's wrong with you now?!!!". I screamed out a whisper..."I'm choking....I'm choking.". He rushed me to the bathroom and I wish I was joking but he forced me to drink water and swallow it down. I'm only 9 but thinking to myself.."Isn't he supposed to do the Heimlech now??". The pinball went down my throat (no homo) or so we thought, Pops gave me bread and more water to clear anything that was caught.  Go to sleep and wake and go to school, Monday now Tues and everything seemed cool.  Humpday came and went and by now I had forgotten, then one recess we were playing wiffle ball and I started hacking and coughing. Teacher asked me what was wrong and I truly didn't know, kept playing wiffle ball, coughing and every now and then my throat would close. Saturday's here and Grandma came by. I'm on the couch watching cartoons and she's by my side. I start to laugh at Garfield & Friends or Bump in the Night, I forget, and here returns the hacking couch Grandma hears this and gets upset: 
"Earlllll, what's wrong with you boy?". Here we go again. 
"Sounds like something's stuck in your throat."  Wow...how did I forget? 
"Actually Grandma, I swallowed a pinball." 
"A PINballlll?!!!! What? Why?? When??" 
"It was this past Sunday I believe but it was an accident."
The rest of the story gets kinds blurry or my selective memory has forced me to protect her. All I remember is coughing real hard and the pinball shooting across the room to my Grandma.

 I passed Diddy in an elevator twice in one day. I'm sorry that was kinda gay.

I wear my short hair nappy and my bowtie loose, so if you see me amongst a crowd you can say to yourself, "Hmm... I wonder if that's that dude?"

Capital P.

I decided to leave this unedited, exactly as I typed it in my phone while I was driving.  So forgive me for the grammatical, spelling and train of thought errors.

The following blog is based off of actual events.  Like to hear it? Here it go....

I'm not supposed to text and drive but it I fall asleep it'll definitely be a short ride. So despite the crime I'm texting while driving to save mu life.

I am squeezing my sphincter to keep from number oneing. Don't want to pull over because if I go the urge is done with. I need this trepidation to fill like condesation and pre like ciptation or reign on this transportation so I can maintain a state of peace. Potentially, if I piss, sorry, since this is DC let's keep it PC. if I pee-pee then I would be releasing the sphoncter and with that goes the patch of uncomfortability...pee-pee'd bring peace, ease and one less piece to the theme that foreshadows sleep. But... I am about to burst, implode.  As concentration shifts to cabode I exit. Simultaneously every 14 karat drip rounds with pressure. Concentration spilled the beans.and sphincter rambunxiously decides its time "let loose of mem". Oh wait, there's a BP! At the tip of DC, let's keep it PC, a BP to pee-pee, hope I don't need a key. I stopped the truck at full speed and with the same energy flew sphincter first into BP and I run straight past Habib and I point "this way to potty?" And Habib he says to me "no, nobody potty." So I rush back look at the truck and the weeds, the weeds look more like peace at the rear of this BP. This might cost me fifty or more, this is DC. So, so so sorry so I ... I did my thing.

All I have is these keys no more sphincter detainee. Text and drive as a gamble, on the road I ramble and write but not to sneak or ride wrecklessly but for my life, for sake's pete. Of course cautiously. Off course...can't type and speed and read directions apparently. So wack.

So back on track....this road, the black is relaxing,  white dashes in masses. Trailer tractors, right flashers. "If you can read this sign then you are too close behind"

Sorry sign, got two more states to go and I'm trying to reach before eyes close down for the night.

If you're still reading this I apologize. It was supposed to just be an exercise to keep me alive and to keep my eyes wide. But like a hypotenuse I sometimes take tangents. How about I propose to you some prose much less random?

Next time. Promise.

BeForeplay

When she came to me, puzzle piece complete. She was more than half of me for certain. A Louisiana Purchase and I copped. I am. And she? Doubled, doubled my ease, e's to a tee like perfection.  Came to me threatening my affection.  Her previous Mack's and Gents cause her over-packaging. But tonight ...I had time to get through them all.

Started with her parka...waist-length and fur collar.  Didn't know Woolrich could fit so snug. First layer I commence, time to open up. She lifted her head slightly and lightly her eyes followed...at my chest, my neck, she followed my goatee closely as it framed my two for-yous.  Next, to my eyes...she tried to catch mines- searching for my intent. I ain't look back "keep guessin'." My sly smirk was full of conjure. Brought my hands up to her neck and her eyes on I like ions opposite my charge.  My appetite sings the seance... her bodies stuck, still, she's silent. Her eyes drawn to my every move. Follow my left hand to her zipper as the right sits in her neck finger by finger...scales the length of her neck up to the back of her short cut...fingers twirl and such, on a group of curls a light tug. Left advances down unloosening tooth by groove, past her chest and down but not too soon- or too fast.  Simple, smooth and subtly seductive.  Now the Woolrich is open, both my hands at her hip. Pull her in a little closer, she's holding her breath again...smiling at this.  Lipped the lobe of her ear so that she could exhale then breathed in with her and out, made her match mine as well.
Brought the sleeves from her shoulders, down her arms, off her hands, looked over to the couch, tossed it on the floor instead. Might need the space in case we don't make it to the bed.
Threw her arms over my shoulder she took her hands to my head. Seven buttons on her shirt and I started at the bottom instead. Un one undo two, her inny said "peek-a-boo." Un three, undo four, more then half if you're keeping score.  I left the three...there at the top...crept on a knee and when she saw me stop she reached for thee... remaining three and I pulled them to her pants and I said "Look Ma, no hands." Then I returned back to her pants. Took the tail..of the belt...out the last loop that held it tight...through the buckle, pulled out the pin and then I pulled the belt completely off her hip. Button-fly jeans, super slim fit these, holding her legs tight as I'm going to be. Face to face... with the top button. Pull and push, second and third for comfort. And my smile grows... at what I see, my favorite spot smiles back at me. And no... It's not what you think... Over to the right and up about three...inches, there..just above her hip. The deviant half of my conscience must have marked it with a target...so I killed it with my two-for-yous then she inhaled and stumbled too. I sensed my senses five at a time take in her reaction to me taking my time...saw the skin on her hip and tummy grow tight...heard her heartbeat creep down her left side...felt her skin grow warm resonating from the core and I smelled her core roar in preparation for some more...my lips tasted, after all the action, the same as my nose smelled, like a coming attraction. The scent was faint at first when the parka hit the floor,  as the shirt's four unbuttoned, the scent then came a tiny bit more. Now the desire to take my time has turned into all-out burden, fighting my senses, I'm growing senseless trying to keep my calm working.  Back on my feet, giving me feet from the scent's source, I return to her shirt's buttons, three remaining if you're keeping score.  Un one, undo two and three she's watching me...waiting for the burden to kill my cool, she knows her milk did her body good.  She knows what's going through my head, all the ways I'll make the puzzle pieces connect.  Take two fingers, to her lip replace the fingers with a two-for-you quick. Take the fingers down her chin, aside her neck and her head lifts. She's responding to all of this...no resists... just permits. Fingers reach her breastplate and the black bra's twist lock.  Black on brown skin, would be black on brown crime if I were a cop.
Take my hands to the side of her pants and dig inside at the waist's base... outside her black, lacy, silky, strings...no good for moisture must be ruined, poor things. Pull the pants' legs down her thighs... she grabs my shoulders and holds them tight. I take a nibble of her inner thigh and one on the right to even out the small bite. I hear her take another breath...feel another shot of heat and 2 rounds of scent on deck.  The jeans to her knees, down the calves to her feet. Unzip the boot on the inner left for the right one... Same thing on inner right and then there were none.  Took her leg by the thigh and gave it a slight lift ...to pull the jeans off her feet, one thigh and off they went.
Now its black on brown skin, short cut, hands in mines and I finally let mine get lost in her eyes.  Shaped like a teardrop turned sideways and stretched a bit..I can see the brown in them. I see myself in them. She smiles with her eyes and then her lashes blush in reaction...her eyes have me trapped in, holding me tighter than her hands can.  Her eyes are the reason that I'm here, the visual attraction that brought me to... and her lips, like two slices of bliss, well they definitely are responsible too. And I want to give her my two-for-yous, my two-for-hers, but her eyes won't let go...I'm stuck in them listening to her pleas, they're like subtitles to her desire's show. They say "Reg, please don't let me go...the way I feel right now? I just want you to know, I'm full of fear, previous pains from the ex XYs still near...but the way you hold me and pull me close?, the over-packaging it flew with my coat...you tossed it away, you take me away....I can feel your warm running through my veins." Her eyes tell me this and I cannot look away.  She senses me trapped and leans to, real close to my two-for-yous. I take her two into my two, slide to her one of the bottom two and take it all... I want some more. I paint her top and bottom two with my one, then inside for some, I take her tongue into my two, slide back for a taste.. Lick my lips as to digest the kiss. She sees this and gets jealous and tries to steal the taste off mine. Take the sweet of my top...sucks the bottom, every drop and we continue this cycle, the taste exchange. No music, no words, no lights...Tonight.. no more over-packaging, just the promise of two puzzle pieces connecting and reconnecting in complete satisfaction....