Said she was tired of meeting the same type of guys cause it always ends up the same. "Why can't what I'm attracted to be good for me at the same time too? Tired of these cavities and my damn sweet tooth. Who are you?"
Umm, damn...my name is Reg.E. Spelled with a dot. I cannot begin to explain to you all of the many things I am not.
She says "oh really, you sure? I swear I heard that one before. I think you're a finer thread but cut from the same cloth. I don't mean to be rude but if so, get lost. I don't have the time, taste or space for anymore."
Once again..my name is Reg.E and it is spelled with a dot. I considered explaining to you all of the many things that I am not... but you seem like that type to get a kick out of being right. So I will let you think you are and save all of this for another lady on another night.
Stunned by this she quips- "oh Darling you giving up so soon? Scared another little boy away I did that's the third tonight must be a full moon."
She made me laugh a little more so I came back just to even the score and the conversation was eventually decent. She made me promise to be the opposite of everything she's ever encountered and said she'd leave if I were anything different.
So I was me. All the Reg.E I know to be. Of course it was easy, flow flawless like osmosis building energy like kinetic forces.... potential likewise evolving in due time.
I called her up and picked her up...she said I'm two for two. I lost a few points though when I came late but I forewarned her that I'm allergic to time so she knew.
I had no plan but gave no hint of this and she eventually asked where are we going? Looked at the clock it was 9:15 and then it started snowing.
Took her to and fro, around the town out and about. When we took the sidewalk I kept her on the inside and she started to pout.
Said- "I don't even know what that means but I know it's one of those Gentlemanly Chivalry things I've only heard about or seen in movie scenes."
Dropper her off, walked her to the door, gave her a hug and asked for no more. I felt her watch me walk away, though the window shades she wanted to say, "don't you want to come in with me?" But that would be sorta contradictory.
She would only be asking because that is what she was used to happening...yes, I wanted to stay but we will save that play for another day.
Next time we go out she ends it kinda slick...told me she had something with her cable box I needed to fix. So I went inside played with her hdmis. Wasn't much wrong, sabotage all along.
Then she goes..."Oh I'm so sore...all that walking, my feet, calves, backs, necks and all. All of it needs rubbing, won't you please oblige.". So I kindly massaged the shit out of her thighs.
The quad on the top, hamstring on the side, she would tense up a bit the closer I would rise.
She wasn't pushing me away, no murmur, motion or peep. I knew it was a setup but I promised to be Reg dot E.
Went as close I could without grazing the funbox, she threw her head back and slightly moaned and right then I stopped.
"Oh man I had a dope night, we have GOT to do this again. You're way too much fun and my hands love the way you fit in."
She sucked her teeth and let me out.
Night and day came once more and an email waited for me at work. Long story short...giving her what she asked for is starting to drive her berserk. She almost, sorta, kinda wished I were a jerk. Told her that a promise is a promise and breaking one would be my first.
That night her cable was broke again.
I went for the hdmis and she was playing with my ear. I went to the back of the flat screen twice but she followed me there.
"Aren't you hot? Take off your shirt and relax." Okay but I'm going to sit over here where its safe. She said "cool", but cool didn't last.
Hot and Bothered jumped on my lap and pressed every pixel on my lips. We knew where this was going, she's uhh very comfortable and it is showing.
Should I cease to contradict what she expects for me to give? It appears the time is right, she's ripe and would have no remorse if we did.
She skipped the remaining pleasantries and asked "could you make love to me?"
I thought to myself, how far she had come from that night we met and a few moments since then. I've gotten ahead with self-confidence, a little stubbornness and self control. That last part she tested and almost made a mess of me and this whole juxtapose.
But apparently and obviously this isn't time to reminisce. Her request was sincere and she's still right here going from lip to lip.
She came off my lips, up my face she kissed stopped at my ears and again "I want you to make love to me". And you know I took this literally. Staying true to my promise and knowing what she wants..."make love to me"....so I fucked.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Start it Up
(I realize this joint is kind of a weird read... so even though it's late, here is the disclaimer: I don't remember my dreams at night but parts seep into my conscious and are reenacted through daydreams)
I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.
I woke up this morning 3 minutes before the alarm... Can't have those three minutes back if I chose. Could smack the snooze bar and burrow back in these pillows I suppose. 10 minutes later...up at the tune... Now that's more like it, no need to deprive the alarm clock of its due. Rolled into the shower, standing directly under the water. Let it marinate, shampoo and soap can wait. Hear a noise from the room and its gone just as soon. Then its back..it's my phone, can I make it? Can I make it to? Flip flops.. bathroom door..stub my toe.. fell to the floor. Back up... grab the phone "one missed call" and they're gone. Back to the shower, about half an hour later feeling like I could play one on one with the snooze bar again. Check my phone, the missed caller left me like 6 or 7 bbms:
"I had a dream and you were in it (embarrassed emoticon), we were catching a train and it was heading to Sweden (huh emoticon). We ordered chicken and biscuits..." On the train???
"...and you stole my strawberry jelly (angry emoticon). I stole a piece of your chicken and I whispered 'in mah belllllayy' (devilish emoticon). Right after that, the train jumped a track and we were leaning over the side of a bridge. People were falling, kids were screaming and you...you were finishing your chicken. You licked the fingers of your left hand, grabbed my arm with your right and said 'ever danced with the devil under a pale moonlight? (Eyes rolling emoticon) ' More screaming, more falling, God, Mama, Allah calling and such, then right before the train hit ground...I woke up (Big hug emoticon). Reg.E what do you think that means????"
Straight faced emoticon. Put my phone in my pocket and got dressed to leave.
Threw a pen in my pocket because I have to deposit... a check into the atm... and their pens are usually filled with that invisible ink. My nephew left his swiss army knife by the sink ...so I'll drop that off after I go to the store. Should I take the train or drive? Couldn't tell by her dream if we finished alive... sooooo...Hopped in Tonka said a prayer and started her up. As she got warm I found a playlist to put on...appropriate enough Genius list of likes to Vroom Vrroooomm "Start it Up." Should I go to the bank by the store or the one closer to my nephew? I'll probably OD in the store and the bank closes at noon... so GPS find me a way to a Chase on Lexington . Beating the wheel like its my drum to Banks verse on Start it Up. "I’m passing all them, pullover and hit the hazards on em
the ratchets on ‘em, wanna pay my dues, now it’s back to ballin sumthin sutmthin Dikembe, Patrick, Mourning." He coulda did a little more with that Hoyas reference, still a dope verse...hence Genius preference. Turn the music down start freestyling cause I'm alone: "I'm heading to the bank, quarter tank, God thanks. listening to Banks corner of my eyes see a skank, guy in front of me curly fro like Carlton Banks...deposit this check I can't wait, spend the money on a date or a sweater even better..."ohhhhh snap son! I should be recording this, I'm my own Genius list. Now let's find a parking spot, oh there's one...Carlton Banks just snatched it up. Around the corner and twice more...a Lady pulls out and I'm in..out the door. 4 minutes on the meter and I don't need a second more. Inside the bank and at the atm insert my card and punch in my pin: "This atm cannot dispense cash at the moment." Suck my teeth and snatch my card out ferocious! I'll deposit the check at the teller and tell her give me cash....be out in a flash. Yea right....geeeeeeeeoooooooooooood look at the line. Everybody and their moms is here at the same time. Deep breath... monopoly on the Touch: "Would you like to buy Reading Railroad?" Hell yea, stank you smelly much. Long line always make me have to potty... asked the dude in front to hold my place, asked the old as dust guard where the bathroom was and went where he pointed cause I didn't understand a word he sprayed. Asked for the news.... Is the bathroom door number one or is it number two? Through door number one and down a long hallway, bunch of closed offices, I think this was the wrong way. Turn around to head back and I hear 5 quick shots "paat-paat-paat-paat-paat" I dropped to the floor, oh boyyyyyy what's goin on??" Crawl to the door and lock it and sat up against the wall. Heard a few steps, and then another "paat-paat" and a body drop to the floor- head and shoulders fell against the door. People screaming, glass breaking and I look around for a window. Must be in the middle of this building where they don't pee or get ventilation, and out there sounds like Rambo. Someone's by the door: "I think he's dead...no pulse" another voice loudly from across the floor "of course he's dead, look how old he is and your scared-ass shot him extra close."
"He's was going to his waist, I did what I had to."
"Probably for his inhaler...you didn't have to shoot. Aye teller, what's behind this door?"
"Nothing that area on the weekend is closed."
He jars at the knob and I'm watching it move. If this dude comes in here I'm Chuck Norrissing him in his neck and I'm gonna piss on him too. Nothing. He goes away. They are really robbing this place...indeed. This is straight out of a movie...you have GOT to be kidding me. "No silent alarms...give me your cells, jewelry and charms. You take us to the safe and hurry up time is money and we have neither to waste" Take out my Touch..monopoly again...down to my last 30 bucks: "You've been elected Chairman of the Board, pay every player fifty...pay up!" Damn you Chance!! Damn you. Put the touch in pants and scraped my hand. Ouch damn what was that? My nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Hmmm- my nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Rushed red with courage, somebody colored me Badd! I could sneak out there while they're in the back... Gotta take them a few to unload the vault. I could play possum, then sneak up behind 'em and slice their throat. Its not a movie Reg...and you were only a white belt no matter what the Sensei said. I gotta do something, there's only two of them maybe three...but more importantly I really have to pee. Unlock the door and creek it open a bit... the body's leaned and slides so I quietly drag it in. Its the security guard...poor old man. He was reaching for his inhaler...ha ha haaa that's wrong. Hold up...what's this on his hip...a six-shooter?? He was packing all along. Take his gun out the holster and I hear the voices from outside. "You take the money to the van, you start it up and I'll wait behind. Soon as the van is started I'll set the timer and we out."
Timer??? Nah son, nah. Take a peak in the cylinder and there's only three bullets in. You was buckin' old man?? You was gettin' it in? That's wassup.
I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.
Said a quick prayer..."God give me the strength, bless my aim and forgive these men...forgive me also for what I'm 'bout to do them." Felt a rush to my hands of heat through to my fingertips... Took a deep breath and held it in... Everything was silent- heart beat in slow motion....Bust out the door and stayed low to the floor...they looked towards, gun raised: "what was that??!! Over there on the floor" "paat-paat-paat"
I exhaled... Let that deep breath go. Rolled over on my back...hand on my chest real slow..... That's wassup. So I sat up. Arms over my knees... looked around at the patrons and the employees and the three newly cold bodies... Everybody's eyes on me like "who in the Sam Hill is this???"
I sigh..."do any of you know where the bathroom is?"
I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.
I woke up this morning 3 minutes before the alarm... Can't have those three minutes back if I chose. Could smack the snooze bar and burrow back in these pillows I suppose. 10 minutes later...up at the tune... Now that's more like it, no need to deprive the alarm clock of its due. Rolled into the shower, standing directly under the water. Let it marinate, shampoo and soap can wait. Hear a noise from the room and its gone just as soon. Then its back..it's my phone, can I make it? Can I make it to? Flip flops.. bathroom door..stub my toe.. fell to the floor. Back up... grab the phone "one missed call" and they're gone. Back to the shower, about half an hour later feeling like I could play one on one with the snooze bar again. Check my phone, the missed caller left me like 6 or 7 bbms:
"I had a dream and you were in it (embarrassed emoticon), we were catching a train and it was heading to Sweden (huh emoticon). We ordered chicken and biscuits..." On the train???
"...and you stole my strawberry jelly (angry emoticon). I stole a piece of your chicken and I whispered 'in mah belllllayy' (devilish emoticon). Right after that, the train jumped a track and we were leaning over the side of a bridge. People were falling, kids were screaming and you...you were finishing your chicken. You licked the fingers of your left hand, grabbed my arm with your right and said 'ever danced with the devil under a pale moonlight? (Eyes rolling emoticon) ' More screaming, more falling, God, Mama, Allah calling and such, then right before the train hit ground...I woke up (Big hug emoticon). Reg.E what do you think that means????"
Straight faced emoticon. Put my phone in my pocket and got dressed to leave.
Threw a pen in my pocket because I have to deposit... a check into the atm... and their pens are usually filled with that invisible ink. My nephew left his swiss army knife by the sink ...so I'll drop that off after I go to the store. Should I take the train or drive? Couldn't tell by her dream if we finished alive... sooooo...Hopped in Tonka said a prayer and started her up. As she got warm I found a playlist to put on...appropriate enough Genius list of likes to Vroom Vrroooomm "Start it Up." Should I go to the bank by the store or the one closer to my nephew? I'll probably OD in the store and the bank closes at noon... so GPS find me a way to a Chase on Lexington . Beating the wheel like its my drum to Banks verse on Start it Up. "I’m passing all them, pullover and hit the hazards on em
the ratchets on ‘em, wanna pay my dues, now it’s back to ballin sumthin sutmthin Dikembe, Patrick, Mourning." He coulda did a little more with that Hoyas reference, still a dope verse...hence Genius preference. Turn the music down start freestyling cause I'm alone: "I'm heading to the bank, quarter tank, God thanks. listening to Banks corner of my eyes see a skank, guy in front of me curly fro like Carlton Banks...deposit this check I can't wait, spend the money on a date or a sweater even better..."ohhhhh snap son! I should be recording this, I'm my own Genius list. Now let's find a parking spot, oh there's one...Carlton Banks just snatched it up. Around the corner and twice more...a Lady pulls out and I'm in..out the door. 4 minutes on the meter and I don't need a second more. Inside the bank and at the atm insert my card and punch in my pin: "This atm cannot dispense cash at the moment." Suck my teeth and snatch my card out ferocious! I'll deposit the check at the teller and tell her give me cash....be out in a flash. Yea right....geeeeeeeeoooooooooooood look at the line. Everybody and their moms is here at the same time. Deep breath... monopoly on the Touch: "Would you like to buy Reading Railroad?" Hell yea, stank you smelly much. Long line always make me have to potty... asked the dude in front to hold my place, asked the old as dust guard where the bathroom was and went where he pointed cause I didn't understand a word he sprayed. Asked for the news.... Is the bathroom door number one or is it number two? Through door number one and down a long hallway, bunch of closed offices, I think this was the wrong way. Turn around to head back and I hear 5 quick shots "paat-paat-paat-paat-paat" I dropped to the floor, oh boyyyyyy what's goin on??" Crawl to the door and lock it and sat up against the wall. Heard a few steps, and then another "paat-paat" and a body drop to the floor- head and shoulders fell against the door. People screaming, glass breaking and I look around for a window. Must be in the middle of this building where they don't pee or get ventilation, and out there sounds like Rambo. Someone's by the door: "I think he's dead...no pulse" another voice loudly from across the floor "of course he's dead, look how old he is and your scared-ass shot him extra close."
"He's was going to his waist, I did what I had to."
"Probably for his inhaler...you didn't have to shoot. Aye teller, what's behind this door?"
"Nothing that area on the weekend is closed."
He jars at the knob and I'm watching it move. If this dude comes in here I'm Chuck Norrissing him in his neck and I'm gonna piss on him too. Nothing. He goes away. They are really robbing this place...indeed. This is straight out of a movie...you have GOT to be kidding me. "No silent alarms...give me your cells, jewelry and charms. You take us to the safe and hurry up time is money and we have neither to waste" Take out my Touch..monopoly again...down to my last 30 bucks: "You've been elected Chairman of the Board, pay every player fifty...pay up!" Damn you Chance!! Damn you. Put the touch in pants and scraped my hand. Ouch damn what was that? My nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Hmmm- my nephews stupid knife almost sliced me bad. Rushed red with courage, somebody colored me Badd! I could sneak out there while they're in the back... Gotta take them a few to unload the vault. I could play possum, then sneak up behind 'em and slice their throat. Its not a movie Reg...and you were only a white belt no matter what the Sensei said. I gotta do something, there's only two of them maybe three...but more importantly I really have to pee. Unlock the door and creek it open a bit... the body's leaned and slides so I quietly drag it in. Its the security guard...poor old man. He was reaching for his inhaler...ha ha haaa that's wrong. Hold up...what's this on his hip...a six-shooter?? He was packing all along. Take his gun out the holster and I hear the voices from outside. "You take the money to the van, you start it up and I'll wait behind. Soon as the van is started I'll set the timer and we out."
Timer??? Nah son, nah. Take a peak in the cylinder and there's only three bullets in. You was buckin' old man?? You was gettin' it in? That's wassup.
I grabbed the gun and there's only three shots left... three of them out there I think, so I better makes these next my best. Ever.
Said a quick prayer..."God give me the strength, bless my aim and forgive these men...forgive me also for what I'm 'bout to do them." Felt a rush to my hands of heat through to my fingertips... Took a deep breath and held it in... Everything was silent- heart beat in slow motion....Bust out the door and stayed low to the floor...they looked towards, gun raised: "what was that??!! Over there on the floor" "paat-paat-paat"
I exhaled... Let that deep breath go. Rolled over on my back...hand on my chest real slow..... That's wassup. So I sat up. Arms over my knees... looked around at the patrons and the employees and the three newly cold bodies... Everybody's eyes on me like "who in the Sam Hill is this???"
I sigh..."do any of you know where the bathroom is?"
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
...
I am...Chasin life's thrills, avoidin ills, poise from spills. Proposin wills and nils to Mills, like Dr Mario connectin pills. Overdue bills and unforseen kills cause eyes to fill. Maturin while still like cucumber to dill. Under the Blood can't shriek or shrilll. Shortcomings eventually shape skill, even fully submerged I breathe thru gills. Never flooded or too high a hill, climb steadily or run like Jack and Jill. If at the wall- for lil Jalen, lil Pete, Rhanise I will drill until... Legacies born and unborn to fulfill. Pierce thru qualms like quills, peace, pacified like benadryl, relief, rectifying like vagisil. Break bread with the Real, keep friends close and enemies on the same side of the rill, still learning how to shed Amils. Bearing visions like window sills, God grant it if it's in Your will. Pencils soak up the brain spills... I.L.L. begets Ill.
Friday, January 14, 2011
t.m.i.
I wear my short hair nappy and my bowtie loose. My hat never sits quite right like it's supposed to.
When I was younger I would take dumb long showers. Leave the conditioner in my hair for like half an hour. Wash my beans and thing thing and everything in between and as soon as I was so fresh and so clean clean, I'd brush my hair with the conditioner still in, then rinse it out and my waves would spin, kinda like I had Indian kin. Then I'd hop out and stand in the mirror kinda bored, would brush my eyebrows lightly from corner to corner.
Sometimes like Pierre I don't care or don't fear like I'm supposed to. I spent less time choosing a college then I do choosing a lunch menu.
I use the woman's bathroom at work when I'm the last in the office because it smells like twinkies and ours smells like inner coffin.
I wear long johns on my legs whenever it's too brick but I have to change the combination of how my wifebeater gets tucked in. It usually goes straight into my jeans this is to prevent that gay belly button breeze. But when long johns are present, the wifebeater has to go second. This actually is smart in two ways: if I have to tinkle and my tango doesn't slow it down, fighting through the extra layers could make me and my pants look and smell like a clown. So with wifebeater in second, protected are my legs and weapon, I can lift my shirts in one swoop and pull out the weapon with hand number two.
When I was younger, I wore hard shoes like Forrest Gump but Mama removed them prematurely cause I would Run, Forest, Run...that's not why, that's a lie. She took my corrective shoes off when I was two and threw them away someplace because I'd kick my older brother's company in the shin and smile in their face. He told me they would laugh to hold back tears trying not to let it be known that they're manhood was on thin ice cause of a terrible, toddler, two-year old. Now still to this day I walk slightly like Donald or Daffy. But more than a handful of females confessed to me it was kinda sexy. One further explained that it was partially revealing, well at least to her imagination, what I was concealing. And no, I did not give her some in case you were wondering or judging me son.
I drink a lot of milk, not in a glass but cereal setting. I eat so much damn Frosted Flakes, I got Kellogg's through the recession. It's pretty bad, a few years back... my family, the fellas and closest chick at the time got together and threw me a 25th Tony the Tiger themed birthday party surprise. Blue and orange balloons, streamers and decorations... like 25 boxes of cereal in different sizes and I ate 'em. I ate 'em all.
I sex like bass....and there is a direct proportion between the level of attraction to the level of bass.
I have quite an obsession with Q-tips. Not any cotton swabs or puffy sticks... No... 100 percent cotton, Unilever Q-tips. It was brought to my attention that when I stick them in my ear, my eyes roll back like "mmmmm yeaaaaaaah."
I have a knot on the back of my head, probably from those terrible-twos and if you or I rub it hard enough I fall asleep and rather quickly too.
Don't touch my nipples. Just don't.
When I have a goal, plan or focus and what to keep it up front, I write it on a rubber band and wear it untill it's done. The goal that is. And if the band breaks prior to I grab my pen and another and start the cycle anew.
When I was around 9 I swallowed a pinball one time...about half an inch in diameter, silver, metal and smooth. I ran to my Pop's room and gave him the universal choking I'm about to die clue...Couldn't talk or yell so I was pointing in my mouth. He said (just like a grouch) "Booooy..what's wrong with you now?!!!". I screamed out a whisper..."I'm choking....I'm choking.". He rushed me to the bathroom and I wish I was joking but he forced me to drink water and swallow it down. I'm only 9 but thinking to myself.."Isn't he supposed to do the Heimlech now??". The pinball went down my throat (no homo) or so we thought, Pops gave me bread and more water to clear anything that was caught. Go to sleep and wake and go to school, Monday now Tues and everything seemed cool. Humpday came and went and by now I had forgotten, then one recess we were playing wiffle ball and I started hacking and coughing. Teacher asked me what was wrong and I truly didn't know, kept playing wiffle ball, coughing and every now and then my throat would close. Saturday's here and Grandma came by. I'm on the couch watching cartoons and she's by my side. I start to laugh at Garfield & Friends or Bump in the Night, I forget, and here returns the hacking couch Grandma hears this and gets upset:
"Earlllll, what's wrong with you boy?". Here we go again.
"Sounds like something's stuck in your throat." Wow...how did I forget?
"Actually Grandma, I swallowed a pinball."
"A PINballlll?!!!! What? Why?? When??"
"It was this past Sunday I believe but it was an accident."
The rest of the story gets kinds blurry or my selective memory has forced me to protect her. All I remember is coughing real hard and the pinball shooting across the room to my Grandma.
I passed Diddy in an elevator twice in one day. I'm sorry that was kinda gay.
I wear my short hair nappy and my bowtie loose, so if you see me amongst a crowd you can say to yourself, "Hmm... I wonder if that's that dude?"
When I was younger I would take dumb long showers. Leave the conditioner in my hair for like half an hour. Wash my beans and thing thing and everything in between and as soon as I was so fresh and so clean clean, I'd brush my hair with the conditioner still in, then rinse it out and my waves would spin, kinda like I had Indian kin. Then I'd hop out and stand in the mirror kinda bored, would brush my eyebrows lightly from corner to corner.
Sometimes like Pierre I don't care or don't fear like I'm supposed to. I spent less time choosing a college then I do choosing a lunch menu.
I use the woman's bathroom at work when I'm the last in the office because it smells like twinkies and ours smells like inner coffin.
I wear long johns on my legs whenever it's too brick but I have to change the combination of how my wifebeater gets tucked in. It usually goes straight into my jeans this is to prevent that gay belly button breeze. But when long johns are present, the wifebeater has to go second. This actually is smart in two ways: if I have to tinkle and my tango doesn't slow it down, fighting through the extra layers could make me and my pants look and smell like a clown. So with wifebeater in second, protected are my legs and weapon, I can lift my shirts in one swoop and pull out the weapon with hand number two.
When I was younger, I wore hard shoes like Forrest Gump but Mama removed them prematurely cause I would Run, Forest, Run...that's not why, that's a lie. She took my corrective shoes off when I was two and threw them away someplace because I'd kick my older brother's company in the shin and smile in their face. He told me they would laugh to hold back tears trying not to let it be known that they're manhood was on thin ice cause of a terrible, toddler, two-year old. Now still to this day I walk slightly like Donald or Daffy. But more than a handful of females confessed to me it was kinda sexy. One further explained that it was partially revealing, well at least to her imagination, what I was concealing. And no, I did not give her some in case you were wondering or judging me son.
I drink a lot of milk, not in a glass but cereal setting. I eat so much damn Frosted Flakes, I got Kellogg's through the recession. It's pretty bad, a few years back... my family, the fellas and closest chick at the time got together and threw me a 25th Tony the Tiger themed birthday party surprise. Blue and orange balloons, streamers and decorations... like 25 boxes of cereal in different sizes and I ate 'em. I ate 'em all.
I sex like bass....and there is a direct proportion between the level of attraction to the level of bass.
I have quite an obsession with Q-tips. Not any cotton swabs or puffy sticks... No... 100 percent cotton, Unilever Q-tips. It was brought to my attention that when I stick them in my ear, my eyes roll back like "mmmmm yeaaaaaaah."
I have a knot on the back of my head, probably from those terrible-twos and if you or I rub it hard enough I fall asleep and rather quickly too.
Don't touch my nipples. Just don't.
When I have a goal, plan or focus and what to keep it up front, I write it on a rubber band and wear it untill it's done. The goal that is. And if the band breaks prior to I grab my pen and another and start the cycle anew.
When I was around 9 I swallowed a pinball one time...about half an inch in diameter, silver, metal and smooth. I ran to my Pop's room and gave him the universal choking I'm about to die clue...Couldn't talk or yell so I was pointing in my mouth. He said (just like a grouch) "Booooy..what's wrong with you now?!!!". I screamed out a whisper..."I'm choking....I'm choking.". He rushed me to the bathroom and I wish I was joking but he forced me to drink water and swallow it down. I'm only 9 but thinking to myself.."Isn't he supposed to do the Heimlech now??". The pinball went down my throat (no homo) or so we thought, Pops gave me bread and more water to clear anything that was caught. Go to sleep and wake and go to school, Monday now Tues and everything seemed cool. Humpday came and went and by now I had forgotten, then one recess we were playing wiffle ball and I started hacking and coughing. Teacher asked me what was wrong and I truly didn't know, kept playing wiffle ball, coughing and every now and then my throat would close. Saturday's here and Grandma came by. I'm on the couch watching cartoons and she's by my side. I start to laugh at Garfield & Friends or Bump in the Night, I forget, and here returns the hacking couch Grandma hears this and gets upset:
"Earlllll, what's wrong with you boy?". Here we go again.
"Sounds like something's stuck in your throat." Wow...how did I forget?
"Actually Grandma, I swallowed a pinball."
"A PINballlll?!!!! What? Why?? When??"
"It was this past Sunday I believe but it was an accident."
The rest of the story gets kinds blurry or my selective memory has forced me to protect her. All I remember is coughing real hard and the pinball shooting across the room to my Grandma.
I passed Diddy in an elevator twice in one day. I'm sorry that was kinda gay.
I wear my short hair nappy and my bowtie loose, so if you see me amongst a crowd you can say to yourself, "Hmm... I wonder if that's that dude?"
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Capital P.
I decided to leave this unedited, exactly as I typed it in my phone while I was driving. So forgive me for the grammatical, spelling and train of thought errors.
The following blog is based off of actual events. Like to hear it? Here it go....
I'm not supposed to text and drive but it I fall asleep it'll definitely be a short ride. So despite the crime I'm texting while driving to save mu life.
I am squeezing my sphincter to keep from number oneing. Don't want to pull over because if I go the urge is done with. I need this trepidation to fill like condesation and pre like ciptation or reign on this transportation so I can maintain a state of peace. Potentially, if I piss, sorry, since this is DC let's keep it PC. if I pee-pee then I would be releasing the sphoncter and with that goes the patch of uncomfortability...pee-pee'd bring peace, ease and one less piece to the theme that foreshadows sleep. But... I am about to burst, implode. As concentration shifts to cabode I exit. Simultaneously every 14 karat drip rounds with pressure. Concentration spilled the beans.and sphincter rambunxiously decides its time "let loose of mem". Oh wait, there's a BP! At the tip of DC, let's keep it PC, a BP to pee-pee, hope I don't need a key. I stopped the truck at full speed and with the same energy flew sphincter first into BP and I run straight past Habib and I point "this way to potty?" And Habib he says to me "no, nobody potty." So I rush back look at the truck and the weeds, the weeds look more like peace at the rear of this BP. This might cost me fifty or more, this is DC. So, so so sorry so I ... I did my thing.
All I have is these keys no more sphincter detainee. Text and drive as a gamble, on the road I ramble and write but not to sneak or ride wrecklessly but for my life, for sake's pete. Of course cautiously. Off course...can't type and speed and read directions apparently. So wack.
So back on track....this road, the black is relaxing, white dashes in masses. Trailer tractors, right flashers. "If you can read this sign then you are too close behind"
Sorry sign, got two more states to go and I'm trying to reach before eyes close down for the night.
If you're still reading this I apologize. It was supposed to just be an exercise to keep me alive and to keep my eyes wide. But like a hypotenuse I sometimes take tangents. How about I propose to you some prose much less random?
Next time. Promise.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
BeForeplay
When she came to me, puzzle piece complete. She was more than half of me for certain. A Louisiana Purchase and I copped. I am. And she? Doubled, doubled my ease, e's to a tee like perfection. Came to me threatening my affection. Her previous Mack's and Gents cause her over-packaging. But tonight ...I had time to get through them all.
Started with her parka...waist-length and fur collar. Didn't know Woolrich could fit so snug. First layer I commence, time to open up. She lifted her head slightly and lightly her eyes followed...at my chest, my neck, she followed my goatee closely as it framed my two for-yous. Next, to my eyes...she tried to catch mines- searching for my intent. I ain't look back "keep guessin'." My sly smirk was full of conjure. Brought my hands up to her neck and her eyes on I like ions opposite my charge. My appetite sings the seance... her bodies stuck, still, she's silent. Her eyes drawn to my every move. Follow my left hand to her zipper as the right sits in her neck finger by finger...scales the length of her neck up to the back of her short cut...fingers twirl and such, on a group of curls a light tug. Left advances down unloosening tooth by groove, past her chest and down but not too soon- or too fast. Simple, smooth and subtly seductive. Now the Woolrich is open, both my hands at her hip. Pull her in a little closer, she's holding her breath again...smiling at this. Lipped the lobe of her ear so that she could exhale then breathed in with her and out, made her match mine as well.
Brought the sleeves from her shoulders, down her arms, off her hands, looked over to the couch, tossed it on the floor instead. Might need the space in case we don't make it to the bed.
Threw her arms over my shoulder she took her hands to my head. Seven buttons on her shirt and I started at the bottom instead. Un one undo two, her inny said "peek-a-boo." Un three, undo four, more then half if you're keeping score. I left the three...there at the top...crept on a knee and when she saw me stop she reached for thee... remaining three and I pulled them to her pants and I said "Look Ma, no hands." Then I returned back to her pants. Took the tail..of the belt...out the last loop that held it tight...through the buckle, pulled out the pin and then I pulled the belt completely off her hip. Button-fly jeans, super slim fit these, holding her legs tight as I'm going to be. Face to face... with the top button. Pull and push, second and third for comfort. And my smile grows... at what I see, my favorite spot smiles back at me. And no... It's not what you think... Over to the right and up about three...inches, there..just above her hip. The deviant half of my conscience must have marked it with a target...so I killed it with my two-for-yous then she inhaled and stumbled too. I sensed my senses five at a time take in her reaction to me taking my time...saw the skin on her hip and tummy grow tight...heard her heartbeat creep down her left side...felt her skin grow warm resonating from the core and I smelled her core roar in preparation for some more...my lips tasted, after all the action, the same as my nose smelled, like a coming attraction. The scent was faint at first when the parka hit the floor, as the shirt's four unbuttoned, the scent then came a tiny bit more. Now the desire to take my time has turned into all-out burden, fighting my senses, I'm growing senseless trying to keep my calm working. Back on my feet, giving me feet from the scent's source, I return to her shirt's buttons, three remaining if you're keeping score. Un one, undo two and three she's watching me...waiting for the burden to kill my cool, she knows her milk did her body good. She knows what's going through my head, all the ways I'll make the puzzle pieces connect. Take two fingers, to her lip replace the fingers with a two-for-you quick. Take the fingers down her chin, aside her neck and her head lifts. She's responding to all of this...no resists... just permits. Fingers reach her breastplate and the black bra's twist lock. Black on brown skin, would be black on brown crime if I were a cop.
Take my hands to the side of her pants and dig inside at the waist's base... outside her black, lacy, silky, strings...no good for moisture must be ruined, poor things. Pull the pants' legs down her thighs... she grabs my shoulders and holds them tight. I take a nibble of her inner thigh and one on the right to even out the small bite. I hear her take another breath...feel another shot of heat and 2 rounds of scent on deck. The jeans to her knees, down the calves to her feet. Unzip the boot on the inner left for the right one... Same thing on inner right and then there were none. Took her leg by the thigh and gave it a slight lift ...to pull the jeans off her feet, one thigh and off they went.
Now its black on brown skin, short cut, hands in mines and I finally let mine get lost in her eyes. Shaped like a teardrop turned sideways and stretched a bit..I can see the brown in them. I see myself in them. She smiles with her eyes and then her lashes blush in reaction...her eyes have me trapped in, holding me tighter than her hands can. Her eyes are the reason that I'm here, the visual attraction that brought me to... and her lips, like two slices of bliss, well they definitely are responsible too. And I want to give her my two-for-yous, my two-for-hers, but her eyes won't let go...I'm stuck in them listening to her pleas, they're like subtitles to her desire's show. They say "Reg, please don't let me go...the way I feel right now? I just want you to know, I'm full of fear, previous pains from the ex XYs still near...but the way you hold me and pull me close?, the over-packaging it flew with my coat...you tossed it away, you take me away....I can feel your warm running through my veins." Her eyes tell me this and I cannot look away. She senses me trapped and leans to, real close to my two-for-yous. I take her two into my two, slide to her one of the bottom two and take it all... I want some more. I paint her top and bottom two with my one, then inside for some, I take her tongue into my two, slide back for a taste.. Lick my lips as to digest the kiss. She sees this and gets jealous and tries to steal the taste off mine. Take the sweet of my top...sucks the bottom, every drop and we continue this cycle, the taste exchange. No music, no words, no lights...Tonight.. no more over-packaging, just the promise of two puzzle pieces connecting and reconnecting in complete satisfaction....
Started with her parka...waist-length and fur collar. Didn't know Woolrich could fit so snug. First layer I commence, time to open up. She lifted her head slightly and lightly her eyes followed...at my chest, my neck, she followed my goatee closely as it framed my two for-yous. Next, to my eyes...she tried to catch mines- searching for my intent. I ain't look back "keep guessin'." My sly smirk was full of conjure. Brought my hands up to her neck and her eyes on I like ions opposite my charge. My appetite sings the seance... her bodies stuck, still, she's silent. Her eyes drawn to my every move. Follow my left hand to her zipper as the right sits in her neck finger by finger...scales the length of her neck up to the back of her short cut...fingers twirl and such, on a group of curls a light tug. Left advances down unloosening tooth by groove, past her chest and down but not too soon- or too fast. Simple, smooth and subtly seductive. Now the Woolrich is open, both my hands at her hip. Pull her in a little closer, she's holding her breath again...smiling at this. Lipped the lobe of her ear so that she could exhale then breathed in with her and out, made her match mine as well.
Brought the sleeves from her shoulders, down her arms, off her hands, looked over to the couch, tossed it on the floor instead. Might need the space in case we don't make it to the bed.
Threw her arms over my shoulder she took her hands to my head. Seven buttons on her shirt and I started at the bottom instead. Un one undo two, her inny said "peek-a-boo." Un three, undo four, more then half if you're keeping score. I left the three...there at the top...crept on a knee and when she saw me stop she reached for thee... remaining three and I pulled them to her pants and I said "Look Ma, no hands." Then I returned back to her pants. Took the tail..of the belt...out the last loop that held it tight...through the buckle, pulled out the pin and then I pulled the belt completely off her hip. Button-fly jeans, super slim fit these, holding her legs tight as I'm going to be. Face to face... with the top button. Pull and push, second and third for comfort. And my smile grows... at what I see, my favorite spot smiles back at me. And no... It's not what you think... Over to the right and up about three...inches, there..just above her hip. The deviant half of my conscience must have marked it with a target...so I killed it with my two-for-yous then she inhaled and stumbled too. I sensed my senses five at a time take in her reaction to me taking my time...saw the skin on her hip and tummy grow tight...heard her heartbeat creep down her left side...felt her skin grow warm resonating from the core and I smelled her core roar in preparation for some more...my lips tasted, after all the action, the same as my nose smelled, like a coming attraction. The scent was faint at first when the parka hit the floor, as the shirt's four unbuttoned, the scent then came a tiny bit more. Now the desire to take my time has turned into all-out burden, fighting my senses, I'm growing senseless trying to keep my calm working. Back on my feet, giving me feet from the scent's source, I return to her shirt's buttons, three remaining if you're keeping score. Un one, undo two and three she's watching me...waiting for the burden to kill my cool, she knows her milk did her body good. She knows what's going through my head, all the ways I'll make the puzzle pieces connect. Take two fingers, to her lip replace the fingers with a two-for-you quick. Take the fingers down her chin, aside her neck and her head lifts. She's responding to all of this...no resists... just permits. Fingers reach her breastplate and the black bra's twist lock. Black on brown skin, would be black on brown crime if I were a cop.
Take my hands to the side of her pants and dig inside at the waist's base... outside her black, lacy, silky, strings...no good for moisture must be ruined, poor things. Pull the pants' legs down her thighs... she grabs my shoulders and holds them tight. I take a nibble of her inner thigh and one on the right to even out the small bite. I hear her take another breath...feel another shot of heat and 2 rounds of scent on deck. The jeans to her knees, down the calves to her feet. Unzip the boot on the inner left for the right one... Same thing on inner right and then there were none. Took her leg by the thigh and gave it a slight lift ...to pull the jeans off her feet, one thigh and off they went.
Now its black on brown skin, short cut, hands in mines and I finally let mine get lost in her eyes. Shaped like a teardrop turned sideways and stretched a bit..I can see the brown in them. I see myself in them. She smiles with her eyes and then her lashes blush in reaction...her eyes have me trapped in, holding me tighter than her hands can. Her eyes are the reason that I'm here, the visual attraction that brought me to... and her lips, like two slices of bliss, well they definitely are responsible too. And I want to give her my two-for-yous, my two-for-hers, but her eyes won't let go...I'm stuck in them listening to her pleas, they're like subtitles to her desire's show. They say "Reg, please don't let me go...the way I feel right now? I just want you to know, I'm full of fear, previous pains from the ex XYs still near...but the way you hold me and pull me close?, the over-packaging it flew with my coat...you tossed it away, you take me away....I can feel your warm running through my veins." Her eyes tell me this and I cannot look away. She senses me trapped and leans to, real close to my two-for-yous. I take her two into my two, slide to her one of the bottom two and take it all... I want some more. I paint her top and bottom two with my one, then inside for some, I take her tongue into my two, slide back for a taste.. Lick my lips as to digest the kiss. She sees this and gets jealous and tries to steal the taste off mine. Take the sweet of my top...sucks the bottom, every drop and we continue this cycle, the taste exchange. No music, no words, no lights...Tonight.. no more over-packaging, just the promise of two puzzle pieces connecting and reconnecting in complete satisfaction....
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